Lost Light
from Out With Lanterns
I am stuck under fog–white, cold, and I keep telling myself that it could be worse. I could be too hot, scalded. Fruitless comparison. I can’t listen to myself anymore. I’m a terrible roommate who won’t stop self sabotaging, leaves the milk out to warm, forgets about the wet laundry. I am here and not here, wandering from room to room looking for an anchor, or maybe a ball to toss. Even the dog looks at me sideways, wonders where on earth I went. It’s not that I intend to be absent, but I was taught to live that way– aren’t we all? Taught to chase the shiny dollar even though we all lie in bed at night and know better. I’ve known better for far too long, and it leaves me chasing my tail. When ego falls away and I live by my own golden light, I can shine, yes, but I always dim way too fast– land damp, shivering, searching.



Tough year.
I see your light.